When I was young, I had no worries. No bills to pay, no deadlines, no psychology tests, and no need to fear the path that I have chosen. You live and you learn, and I fully trust in this time old saying. I know now that you never stop learning. Each and everyday is a test waiting to be taken.
You begin life just as anyone else. A tiny creature waiting to be shaped into an individual. You learn to breathe. You learn to see. You learn to smile. You learn and your body learns, everything that is essentric to surviving each passing day. You grow older with time. You learn to read, and write, and pass notes to friends. You learn to sing. You form opinions and, then turn the next day and alter those same opinions. You laugh. You study. You swing on the swingsets that the world has created just to soothe your existance. You play and you grow.
You enter your true soul. You grow to love people. You trust. You hate. You make judgements and you change them. You try to fit in, and be a different person at the same time. You create friendships. You keep them. You lose them. You throw them away. You create relationships. You love to the fullest and never think twice. You have no worries. Then as life turns the tables you learn the harsh and cruel ways of nature. You get your heart broken. You learn not to trust anyone. You learn that people change and don't change back. People change and they never change back. They never change back. You lose people. You learn about death and the agony that follows. You learn of all the pain your soul can hold inside. You learn to hide your pain. You learn to fake a smile and pretend you're okay. You learn to dwell on the way things were once upon a happier time. You wish for time-machines and delorians. You learn true heartache and laugh at yourself at what you thought was true pain and what you know is true pain. You learn to let things go. You learn that every single thing happens for a reason. You learn to be more cautious. You learn to love the things you love fully so that if you are to lose thedm they know the love you had together. You learn to become an actual individual. You learn to choose your favorite things. You live and you grow.
You learn to accept loss. You learn responsibility and how to take care of yourself. You learn to drive cars and pay for gas. You learn to pay cell phone bills, insurance bills, class fees, book fees, and you realize that if you would have saved out on that box of girl scout cookies..you could have purchased a calculator and avoided the D you made on your pre-cal test. You learn to help yourself. You learn to have a strong bond with the people that raised you. You learn to thank the teachers that punished you for being immature. Although you still have a certain passion for swimming with your friends everyday in the summer, you realize you have to work in order to pay for the car that gets you to the lake. You realize that everyone is imperfect and you just have to be happy with who you are. You grow.
Finally you start the process over. You find a person that you have such an intense love for. You find that person becoming your best friend. You find yourself telling them no lies and keeping no secrets. You fall in love with every little thing about them. You meet their family and they meet yours. You become one person. You set a date and put rings on your fingers. You throw rice and wear white. You sing and dance the night away until you drive off and return to step in the circle of life. You create a tiny creature waiting to be shaped into an individual.
You watch your darling little creature go through the same pains that you faced. You watch it learn to breathe. You watch it learn to dance. You watch it learn to read and write. You watch it fall into the traps of heartache. You watch and watch and watch. You see. You feel. You remember. You start to see it becoming an individual. You learn to let it go just as all of the others. You watch it grow and create more creatures yearning to see all that you see. You watch them laugh and weep and sing and dance and grow.
You finish and you learn that everything will be okay. You fade out like a candle in the storm. You fade to dust and where your soul goes, only you can know. You stop growing and take a breath. You accept the light and watch over all the ones you love. You watch the cycle. Again and again. You smile.
You stop growing.
You are grown.
Finally.
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