I spent today with my family. It makes me sad to think this is kinda my last year with them. In less than 9 months I will be out of the house. I will keep in touch and of course see Mom every week. It just won't be the same though. It feels very surreal. I feel like I should still be asking her to take me places and fill out papers and sign her name. I love them so much. I wish Mom and Jay would get married. They are so perfect for one another. I want a soulmate to share a love as epic as theirs. It will come though.
Yesterday I read a blog that really opened my eyes. What if God does still love me? I mean I have hated him and even worse..I refused to believe in him and thank him and appreciate him. I was thinking though, what if God took David for some sick and retarded purpose. If he hadn't have taken David I wouldn't be here at this point in my life. I wouldn't have learned to live with who I am. I don't know if my words make as much sense as my thoughts do. It's like I have what I want to say how I want to say it but, when it comes out it's just a puzzle of words and phrases.
My diet is going good. I only ate like 900 calories today. Only had water and green tea. Nothing sweet besides gum when I got really hungry. I also bought some more vitamins. They taste like cherry. I think I ate like half the bottle already haha. Tomorrow is school. Ugh. I have two C's already and I will probably get my car taken away within the next few weeks. Which sucks balls. Big hairy balls. But a kid like me gets over little shit like that real quick. The way I see it: more time to make bracelets and watch Ghosthunters.
Ehh. I'm off to take my shower now. Goodnight.
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